Sunday, January 20, 2008

The hardest things...

...make us stronger, right? Well, there have been no monumentally difficult things such as me breaking up with a boyfriend, or family or friends dying, but rather the thing which has been continually difficult for me here is the solitariness. Not that I am alone. I am constantly surrounded by people, occasionally to my annoyance. No, the difficulty is having this "experience" that I know is forming my mind and life, and yet not sharing it with someone. If you ever move to a different country for a year, bring someone with you. I am at the point now that I am just looking forward to being home, hoping that things and people haven't changed too much in my absence. Will I look back on my time in Germany with a warm fuzzy feeling? Not immediately. I will always be grateful for what I have learned and experienced, but it has been a consistently difficult year so far. Six more months. Gestern bin ich alleine ins Kino gegangen, und das war ein bi├čen traurig. Das Film war toll aber ich weinte, weil neimand mit mir war. Experiences, both good and bad, are always enriched by being able to share them with others. That is partly why I blog, but it doesn't really scratch the surface of what I am doing here. So those are my thoughts which close the weekend, amplified by the fact that I watched a movie alone, and had my sister here for a couple of days two weeks ago; a reminder of how much I miss home, family and friends.

4 comments:

twig said...

Dang it. I have no way of knowing your life, but if you believe me, I am lonely for your loneliness.

Superlative Me said...

"And for because the world is populous / And here is not a creature but my self, / I cannot do it; yet I'll hammer it out. / My brain I'll prove the female to my soul, / My soul the father, and these two beget / A generation of still-breeding thoughts; / And these same thoughts people this little world ...

-- from Richard II

Melanie said...

Hi Val - just found your blog. I had a really hard, lonely overseas experience (five weeks long when I was sixteen). At the time, I too told myself I was sure it was making me a stronger person, but I think it took me about five years of distance to actually look back on it and say "yes, I am a better person for that experience." But now - I can't imagine my life without that experience. It made me think so much about what is important in life. And yet, I can't say I'd CHOOSE to do it again!

Valerie said...

Thank you guys for your support. It's very encouraging.